


Not A Weirdo

by WoorEnergy



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Communication, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Lee is straight, M/M, What Have I Done, he's as straight as a circle, homophobic slur, just kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 11:01:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14975780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoorEnergy/pseuds/WoorEnergy
Summary: Charles Lee was gay ; it wasn't a surprise. However, he needed some help to accept it, and it seemed that Samuel Seabury was willing to do the job. And he did just fine.This fanfiction is straight™





	Not A Weirdo

**Author's Note:**

> My friend read and corrected this again :')) thank you bro~ (I'm sure I forgot something tho)

Charles Lee had a big problem.

Well, it wasn't a problem in itself ; most of the people in the school were okay with that- if he only kept people that didn't want to murder him (he never understood why he was hated that much). It was a problem for him, and for the way he had been raised.

Homosexuality was bad, at least that's what his family told him since he was born. But Charles was gay. It didn't mean Charles was bad, right ? It was the kind of question that haunted him all the time. He didn't want to be erased from his family, like he had never been born at all. Despite the obvious lack of attention he had in his childhood, he loved his parents. Despite everything that ever happened, he loved his parents.  
The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint them and make them suffer.

Charles, at some point in his adolescence, began to believe that he liked women. And, yes, the only girl he had dated when he was sixteen was the most gorgeous person he had ever met. Way shorter than him (even though it wasn't hard), a little bit chubby and with the sweetest voice on Earth ; it sounded like a melody. She was full of qualities and willing to do everything for him at that time. So, yes, there was no reason to be unhappy with her.

That was what Lee tried to convince himself when he was sleeping with her, hugging her, or just hanging around with her. But he knew he didn't love her like he should have : he loved her as a close friend, a confident, but not as a romantic partner. He was young, but not stupid.  
That's why he broke up after several months of lies. They didn't try to talk again- things would have been too awkward for them, and the young man couldn't even remember her name by now.

When he turned nineteen, Charles definitely understood that men were way more attractive to him. The arrogant ginger-haired boy was the main problem, but that didn't mean he fully accepted his homosexuality. Not yet.  
He met him in highschool several weeks after his own first day. The little guy was totally lost in the establishment and didn't know anyone here except two professors at best. Charles took pity on him and helped him- that's when he learned his name, Samuel Seabury. This very same day, Lee swore to God themself he wasn't willing to forget this guy's name.  
Well, he didn't define this encounter as "love at first sight". He just thought that he was pretty good-looking. Annoying, but good-looking.

Eventually, the two started to hang out together since Samuel wasn't very appreciated by the other students either. Actually, the only person that liked him was George King, one of the professors, but he didn't want to spend the next years with a teacher. Besides, King was a bit... special. And Lee could be some good company, at least when he wasn't yelling at everything.

After a whole year of spending time together, sharing some classes, they knew each other pretty well. Of course, they still had a lot to discover and learn, but Samuel was proud to say that Charles was his best friend. Even if the taller one denied it, he liked this tiny, stupid guy as well.

Actually, that was because of him that Lee was questioning his sexuality more than usual. He would've been lying if he said he didn't have a silly crush on his friend. But that would pass, right ? It wasn't like they would end up together, and he was pretty sure that everyone already had a crush on their own friend at some point.

"Charles, you've been staring at that wall for ten minutes now."

This obnoxious voice- Samuel's voice- suddenly grabbed him from his thoughts as he lightly shook his head, trying to focus on the words he just said. But they had no meaning for him. "What ?"

"Nothing, you're just scaring me a little." Samuel chuckled. Sitting at his desk, he turned around to face his friend. "I mean, I know you're a lazy ass, but doing nothing and staring at that damn wall with your empty eyes ? That doesn't sound like you."

"Firstly, fuck you." Seabury easily dodged the pillow that Lee threw at him and laughed again, while the taller man just rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Secondly, I was just... lost in my thoughts. Nothing important."

Samuel's grin disappeared as soon as it came, and his face wore an expression of slight worry. He quickly saved the document he was typing on his computer as he crossed his arms, still looking at his friend.

"And what were you thinking about ?"

"Hey ! What happens in my head is none of your business !"

"Charles," the ginger man sighed, "I'm not trying to invade your personal space. If you don't wanna talk, then don't, I'm not gonna beg you."

Samuel was about to go back to his work, trying to concentrate on the numerous lines and paragraphs dancing on his screen, when Lee spoke again after a few seconds of awkward silence. "...Do you think I'm gay ?"

Seabury frowned, confused by such a strange question. "Um... I don't know, I'm not in your head. Why are you asking me this, so suddenly ?"

"I think I don't like girls."

The smaller man just shrugged and chuckled again. The way his friend whispered him this sentence, with such confusion in his voice was funny and disturbing at the same time.

"Don't laugh at me !" Charles barked.

"Sorry, but it's really hard to do so." Seabury cleared his throat and, standing up from his chair, came closer and sat at the edge of the bed. Lee just turned around, showing him his back like he was pouting. "Wanna talk about it ?"

"What else do I have to say ? I just like... I just don't like girls. That's all."

"Yes, but it seems like it really bothers you. I won't insist, though."

When Samuel was about to get out of the bed, Lee asked him to stay in an embarrassed mumble, finally laying on his back. Well, they didn't fully face each other yet, but that was still something.  
The two friends just installed onto the mattress, and the silence had only been broken by Charles' sighs and loud respiration.

"When did you understand you were... you know ?" Shyly asked the tallest, playing with the bottom of his shirt.

"Charles, gay isn't a bad word. You can use it." As Lee rolled his eyes, still apologizing, Seabury let a ghost of smile appear on his face. "Well... I think I was thirteen when I realized I liked men."

"Geez, that's early."

"If you say so," the ginger man shrugged once again, "anyway. It was really hard for me to accept it at first, because my family is really religious and conservative, you know ? Being gay is a sin for them."

"Yeah, I see what you mean." When Lee saw his friend tilting his head, confused, he thought that fuck it, explaining a little bit further would've not kill him. "My family isn't religious, just... very strict about sexual orientations. They're always like "faggots are so disgusting !" and all that stuff. I believed that for a long time, too."

"I'm so sorry."

"No, no, don't be. It wasn't about me anyway, right ? Please keep going."

Samuel frowned again. His friend had such a weird behavior today ; firstly, that was the first time they talked about sexual orientations- especially about homosexuality-, or about their respective families. Secondly, Lee wasn't the kind of guy to open up so easily to the others, even if they began to be close to each other. He usually kept all his insecurities and strong emotions to himself, and this whole conversation was worrying the younger boy.

"One day, my friends at my school started to talk about the girls they liked." Seabury continued, scratching the back of his head. "I just... I didn't understand their interest for them. I mean, girls are pretty, but-"

"But you didn't love them like you loved boys ?"

"Yes, exactly. Is that how you feel ?" As Charles nodded silently, Samuel came a bit closer to him as a support and continued. "I didn't know why I was like this, why boys made me feel like this. I was ashamed, and lost, and- and I was so afraid, because I wanted to be like the others, but I couldn't. I didn't want to disappoint my family, because they all expected me to find a girlfriend, to marry her and have children. I don't even want children !"

Samuel noticed that he was starting to shout and ramble about his life and quickly calmed down. His fingers grabbed one of the blanket's corners and nervously played with it.

"Anyway, it took me a lot of time and help from a friend to accept that I was gay, and most importantly, to do my coming-out to my parents. But, uh, that's a part I'd rather forget, if you don't mind."

"Um, sure."

The two of them stayed silent for a while. They were pretty close by now, and their shoulders were almost touching. Almost. But they didn't care.  
Samuel tried to break the tension.

"So... You're gay, huh ?"

"So... I think I'm gay."

"That's totally sure, though ; I saw the way you look at all the pretty guys at school."

"What !? I look at them like-"

"Like you're about to rip all of their clothes ! Seriously, you were staring at Jefferson for the next two hours when he took off his shirt last week !"

"I mean, yeah, I can't lie. But even a straight dude or a lesbian would jump in his bed if he asked them to do so."

Samuel chuckled and playfully rolled his eyes. He was relieved that his best friend felt a bit better, it seemed like the awkward tension in the room gradually disappeared.

"Well, if you don't have any other question, I'm gonna go back to my work."

As the smaller stood up from the bed, stretching his arms a bit, he heard his friend mumbling something that he didn't catch.

"I'm sorry, could you speak up ?"

"I said thank you !" He groaned, annoyed.

"For what ?"

Samuel knew exactly why he was thanking him, but this kind of situation was pretty rare, so he was willing to take advantage of it. Yes, he was a horrible friend sometimes.

"Thank you for... for your support, and for listening to me. There, you're happy !?"

"Yes, and you're welcome."

Seabury sticked his tongue out and went back to his computer. Then the room went silence again, except for the little noises from the keyboard.

***

It had been a few months since Lee did his coming-out to everyone at school ; and of course, nobody cared. Except Laurens, maybe, who didn't hide his surprise when he learned that. But the two despised each other, so his hate took over his curiosity.  
At first, Charles was terrified ; he had barely accept his homosexuality, and he knew some homophobics people in his school. But he needed to say it, it was a part of the process for him, even though Samuel assured that he didn't have to, that his sexuality was none of the other students' business. He also thought that his parents could wait until he was totally ready.

Samuel was pleased. It seemed that his best friend and him were closer than before for the past few weeks. At least, the elder opened up more frequently when something was frightening him. Of course, he didn't tell everything ; he liked to keep some secrets for himself, like everyone did, and he didn't mind. But he started to be more confident, and this ascertainment was comforting him.  
His boy was growning, and he was proud to be a part of this slow evolution.

The two friends were leaving the classroom and were walking down the hallway. Their day was over, and since it was Friday, they didn't have to go to school tomorrow.

"Hey, Sammy, I'm gonna drink something. Wanna join me ?"

This, however, was _really_ new. Charles never invited him anywhere before, and he always wanted to go drink alone. He looked up to see a flustered Lee clearing his throat.

"Why ? Do you want to celebrate something ?"

"Oooh, come on, I just want to have fun with you !"

"Okay, now you're scaring me. Tell me directly what you want instead of beating around the bush."

"Well, I can't tell you now, but yeah, there's something. So, wanna come over or what ?"

"I don't have the choice anyway, right ?"

Lee chuckled and gave him a little hit in the arm with his elbow.

The students reached the café close to the school. Charles came here frequently with Aaron and Theodosia ; but this time, the couple was missing, probably hanging out somewhere else. It wasn't important.  
The two sat at a table, and soon, a young girl came to them. She was wearing a black shirt with the name of the café on it, and a white apron hanging around her neck ; it wasn't even attached. Her messy, curly hair were bouncing around her face despite the ponytail she tried to do. As soon as she recognized them, a light started to shine in her eyes, and she automatically smiled.

"Hey guys !"

"Peggy !" Samuel happily shook her hand. "It's good to see you again."

"Eh, sorry, I'd like to see you more often Sammy, but we're busy as hell here." Peggy seemed to finally notice Charles' presence, and a knowing grin stretched her lips. "Soooo, are you two on a date or something ?"

Charles panicked and suddenly choked, coughing loudly as his entire face started to turn red, while Samuel just looked at him, stuttering as he was trying to argue.

"I- we're- we're not on a date !" The smallest finally retorted, almost pouting.

"You're such a weirdo, Peg !"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Tell me what you want, so I can leave you lovebirds alone !~"

Lee rolled his eyes but ordered a coffee anyway, and Samuel asked for a green tea. Peggy winked at them one last time and disappeared behind the counter to prepare the orders. The two friends glanced at each other and giggled foolishly.

"Man... Peggy is really something, huh ?"

"Yeah..." Charles nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, she wasn't making you uncomfortable, right ?"

Seabury raised an eyebrow when he heard this weird question.  
He knew his friend was acting really strange today. He seemed a bit more dedicated to him... Of course, he was still clumsy and all, he didn't turn into a gentleman in one night : it was still Charles Lee, dammit. But with all the little attentions since this morning, the young man felt special. He knew it was silly to hope that something could eventually happen between them, but he liked to dream about it.

"No, don't worry," he finally answered, "I'd have said Peggy to stop, otherwise. Why though ?"

"Nothing important, just forget."

Samuel shrugged and thanked Peggy when she came back to their tables with the drink. They both paid for it and started talking, taking a sip from time to time.

"...And then this asshole was like "see you after school, you're gonna pay for what you said about Washington !" But you know me Sammy, I _never_ run away from a battle !"

Sammy continued to smile and nodding, listening all the story. Of course, he had already heard about that at school, and of course, he knew his friend ran away as soon as Laurens threatened him to fight. He knew him too well. But pretending to be impressed by his bravery was better for both of them.

"He has been so lucky that I spared him, or else I'd have kicked his sorry ass. But I'm pretty sure he's still crying about it right now !"

"Sure." As Samuel finished his tea and put back the cup on the saucer, a sudden expression of gravity took place on his face. "Charles, this day with you was awesome, but you've been acting quite strange since this morning. You've never been so... so kind with me, you see ?"

"Um, really ?"

"Yeah, really, dude. I mean, I really enjoy to spend some time with you, but I need you to be honest with me. What do you want ?"

Lee looked around him and slowly stood up from the chair. "Let's go outside, okay ?"

Seabury reluctantly agreed, still enjoying the atmosphere in the café. But whatever, taking a walk with his friend wouldn't kill him.  
He shyly waved at Peggy who wiggled her eyebrows in response, and then left the establishment with the elder. They started to walk in the streets, not really going to a place in particular. They just wanted to stay together.

"So," Charles began, "I've been thinking about our conversation. A lot."

"About your homosexuality, I suppose." He nodded. "Did I say something that confused you, or made you uncomfortable ?"

"Not really. On the contrary, you helped me for a lot of things- don't look at me like this, I won't thank you a second time." Samuel lightly tapped his friend's arm as he chuckled, amused. "No, real talk, I thought about that more than usual for the past few days now. It became an obsession, you know ?"

Charles started to ramble over and over, and he didn't manage to find the right words to express himself. Finally, they stopped walking in the middle of the street- at least Seabury stopped, forcing his friend to do so. They were bothering everyone on the sidewalk, but it wasn't like they cared about that.

"Charles, calm down and go straight to the point."

"Alright." Lee inspired for a moment. "I think I'm gay for you."

Silence.

A long, heavy silence.

And Samuel couldn't help but burst of laughing.

"Hey ! Stop making fun of me !"

That didn't help the poor boy who laughed harder, holding his sides as he tried to catch his breath ; it was obviously fruitless. The people around them looked at him like he was insane.

"I'm- Sorry, I'm sorry, I really am ! It's just- holy crap ! That was so funny !"

"No it wasn't." He groaned, looking down.

Eventually, Samuel managed to calm down and cleared his throat. He carefully approached Lee and took his hand, even if he felt him tensing a little.

"I'm really sorry, the way you said that was priceless... That was honestly the best declaration someone has ever made to me."

"You really think so ?"

"Mhm." As Seabury nodded, he shyly laced his fingers with his, staring at them with attention. "I'm very surprised you initiated something, too."

"Is that a bad thing ?"

"Nah. I love this side of you, as much as I love the jerk side of you."

The said jerk rolled his eyes, and Samuel couldn't help but notice the little blush spreading across his cheeks.

"I'd love to be gay with you." The smallest admitted, biting his bottom lip as he smiled.

"Uh- I- Wha- Sammy, what-"

"Geez, breathe."

"Don't tell me what to do !"

Samuel mumbled something that Lee didn't catch, but he eventually managed to make a full, correct sentence. Seeing Charles Lee, the man yelling at everything that was moving, loss of words for once in his life was surprising for the tiny man.

"Wanna, um- don't get me wrong, I'm not a weirdo, but- wanna come over at my house, and maybe stay for the night ?"

"That's a bit gay."

Lee made an indescriptible face, mixing annoyance and shame, and Sammy quickly stopped to smile.

"Sorry, I- maybe I've gone too far."

"No, you know what," he started walking again while he was still holding Samuel's hand. "That's totally gay, and I don't give a single fuck anymore at this point."

The younger giggled and followed the giant in the crowd, grabbing his hand tightly. He certainly didn't want to be separated from him.

"Hey, Charlie ?"

"Hm ?"

"I love you."

"Y-Yeah, whatever."


End file.
